Dating Apps Have an Impact on Our Self Confidence

Nowadays, it is easier than ever to get a date via free or paid dating sites. There are several dating apps/sites to choose from and all you have to do is download the phone app(s) that take minutes to upload and a few extras to fill in some additional personal info, including pictures that are supposed to depict what we look like and ourselves having a great time to show others what we enjoy, who we are friends with and that we actually have some good personality traits. This seems like a fun and safe way to meet other people and potentially find our soul mate. However, I declare dating sites can alter our confidence levels and have adverse affects on how we begin to internalize our self confidence!

I want you to imagine a list of sexy mates all in one place, waiting to meet their special someone in hopes of finding what could be “true love.” Online dating sites are simple to use but can easily break and eventually deteriorate our once strong self confidence we learned to instill in ourselves. For example, you send a couple people messages that appear to be the ideal attractive mate and you don’t ever hear back from them. You seem to only receive messages from those you would never go on a date with and continue to feel frustrated more so than you did when you downloaded the dating app or went to the dating site.

Or how about when you begin talking with someone and they want to see additional pictures of talk with you on a free and safe site like Skype and afterwards don’t want to speak to you because of your looks or the interactions you had in a brief encounter. You begin to feel like a loser, you eventually begin to feel unwanted, you usually begin to feel unattractive or not good enough, maybe you don’t have what the other men/women want career wise, they might see you as “too much fun” and not serious enough, you start to internalize rejection and what you once considered yourself as really confident and knowing you are valuable and worthy of love and being loved or wanted by your ideal mate. Then what happens? When others are not reciprocal of our time and attention we automatically begin to lack confidence to try again or reach out to a person of interest. The fear of being rejected again, also lessens our self confidence and beliefs that we are not worthy of the best mate.

We eventually give up and some people’s confidence is destroyed while many are left with low self esteem and no ambition to allow love into their life. We clam up, put up walls, use defense mechanisms and feel hardly loveable. There is a positive correlation with rejection and self esteem over time, that with one it deteriorates the other. And on a positive note, there are also positive correlations with love and being accepted by others. Both have great impacts of making significant differences in our lives, both negatively and positively.

I recommend to either find a mate the old fashioned way, through other friends recommendations, potentially at places you frequent so others can see who you truly are and how you honestly are and what you look like often. Some people hide behind their confidences in order to be liked or wanted or both. This actually is a disservice to them and their potential mate.

Have the strongest self confidence that no matter what, you will wear your confidence like a warrior and DON’T allow anyone to ever diminish it based on their inability to see, feel or experience your greatness!!

Whatever you choose in the dating world, do what is best for you. No one walks in your shoes and has to live with your decisions and the effects that life throws your way! When you are really 100% confident in yourself, you will also attract a mate who shares this quality!

Always be authentically YOU and you will attract the right mate that is best for you!


By Kelly Benamati

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