Self Consciousness and How It Affects Your Self Confidence

A major part of social anxiety is self consciousness. It is defined as “the undue awareness of oneself, one’s appearance, or one’s actions.”

If you suffer from even a bit of social anxiety, an episode of self-consciousness can happen in any social situation, regardless of how well you know the people you are with.

Self consciousness episodes are negative memories and it’s a form of protection we humans utilize. Our subconscious minds store those embarrassing memories for us. Like, that time I tripped down an escalator because I wasn’t paying attention, or when I had something stuck in my front teeth all day at a huge conference, or that time I rushed outta the house and still had my slippers on and didn’t realize it until I got to the seminar I was presenting! 😯  These are things to be self conscious about, in an effort to hopefully not have it happen again! 😉

But self consciousness will work against you, say if you have a fear of public speaking, or sharing your thoughts and opinions, or speaking up and asserting yourself. It can be extremely detrimental, because it not only increases self consciousness, but destroys your self esteem. Is it any wonder why the most successful business people are; in fact, successful? Or why some people are perceived to have the potential of more success than others?

It all has to do with confidence. The confidence we put out into the world is an indicator to people how we would handle challenging situations. A person that is confident in themselves and their abilities will display it without reservation, while a more self conscious person – who has the same abilities – will falter. How confident you are and how you exude that confidence plays a huge role in how successful and fulfilled you are in your communication with others, in business, in social settings and in your life in general.

The more confident your are in yourself and your abilities, the less you are self conscious about how you might be coming across to other people.

The key to reducing self-consciousness is to learn to focus your attention on what is happening outside yourself and stop listening to your internal worries and your Inner Critic.

  • A major social skill is being able to focus your attention outward. This is one of the many skills that I teach to my Confidence Coaching clients!  😀 

The best social situations are the ones in which you actually forget about yourself and become focused on what is going on around you and with other people.  Your social anxiety will be greatly alleviated and you will be able to be more present an enjoy the event or interaction. That’s what it’s all about, right?!?


If you’re tired of being self conscious and are ready to be more comfortable in your own skin and in the company of others, please contact me anytime for a complimentary session!

Send me an email at
Or give me a call at 604.230.5538


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