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Mean, Negative, Bitchy Women~ How to Deal with Them
Hurt people hurt other people. I learned that from a remarkable mentor of mine many years ago. He was there to console me a couple of times after being hurt by someone in my family whose go-to emotion is anger.
We all have at least one. You know, that really negative person that can quickly suck the wind out of your happy sails. 🙄 It’s annoying, it’s frustrating, and these types of people are energy vampires. They suck the energy out of other people and they are draining to be around. They are unhappy, low energy and low vibration people that have a lot of unresolved pain and are unfulfilled with themselves and with their lives.
If you feel worse after you’ve spent time with someone (tired, cranky, sad, frustrated or drained) chances are you’ve got an mean person who is an energy vampire in your life!
Why are some women mean and bitchy, you ask? Well, all of us go through out our days experiencing the world around us. Every circumstance that takes place, we give meaning to it, based our belief systems and then we create storylines that supports that belief. We consistently tell ourselves (most of the time it’s subconsciously) stories about our life, and other people, based on our own meaning. Many of our stories are fabricated, and all of them are biased –dominated by our fears and our theories about life.
A typical mean person’s belief is: “I’m a victim. People want to hurt me, so I must hurt them first so that I will be strong and safe.” It’s a way for them to feel in control and protected. This is why mean people turn nasty when you say or do something that you meant to have zero negative meaning, yet they lash out and become bitches. They immediately rewrite whatever they heard or saw in a way that will support their beliefs.
For example: She’s an anti-social person and hates parties, so you don’t invite her to a party that you know she will be extremely uncomfortable at because it will cause her a lot of stress and anxiety. She finds out that she wasn’t invited.
She interprets that in a way that supports her fear and limiting beliefs and therefore gives it negative meaning. She jumps to negative conclusions, she becomes passive aggressive, and goes into her victim mindset. When she’s asked what’s the matter, she becomes rude and mean based on her own assumptions and the storyline she has created. As a result she says things that are completely false and lashes out in anger.
The story she created, NOT the other persons behavior, both motivates and excuses her anger and bitchyness.
But if we react to this type of mean and bitchy behaviour with meanness of our own, we stoop to that same level, while also becoming part of the problem. That vicious cycle doesn’t work!
You’re mean to me, so I’m mean to you, so you’re meaner to me, so I’m meaner to you….
This is particularly hard with negative family members. We are “supposed” to get along and love them unconditionally, right?? Wrong. You choose how they affect you and how much time you spend with them.
YOU are the only person that is in charge of your emotions. Whether it’s family members or friends, when you choose to spend your precious time with negative, bitchy women, you only have yourself to blame. <Insert jagged pill here!> Once I figured that out, it was life-changing. I didn’t “HAVE-TO” put up with being in the company of someone who is mean to me. I was CHOOSING to allow it to happen. You have a choice too, and you can minimize or eliminate how much time you give them.
But doing that can be very challenging for most women. My Confidence Coaching clients are nice women and usually people-pleasers, so it’s particularly hard for them to deal with mean, negative, bitchy women –UNTIL they hire me to coach them on exactly how to manage those types of relationships and more importantly, learn how to make themselves and their energy most important.
Here’s My 5 Tips for Dealing with Mean, Negative, Bitchy Women
#1 – The ABSOLUTE BEST way to deal with negative people is to limit or eliminate the amount of time and energy you give them. Communicate via email or talk on the phone and tell them in advance you don’t have a lot of time to talk.
#2 – You can’t change her, no matter how hard you try. So, quit trying! Accept (not the same as approval) that that’s who they are, and it’s not up to you to help change their mean, bitchy ways.
#3 – Find more positive people to hang out with. Life is way too short to spend time with mean, bitchy people. So DON’T! Consider joining a Meetup group to find great like-minded people and stop worrying about and focusing on the bitchy ones. Staying positive and constantly improving your life is your responsibility, not anyone else’s. Decide to create your ideal life no matter what and you’ll be amazed at the awesome new people you will attract into your life.
#4 – Pick your battles! Choosing battles unwisely means we can waste a lot of our precious time and energy. When you feel your blood boiling and you feel a potential argument coming up (and it’s the same old thing, or about a topic you know she will lash out and be mean) ask yourself if it’s worth getting into it. Likely it’s not! Is she being irrational? Refer to the next step…
#5 – Walk away! When her ego gets in the way of common sense, just leave. If you sense a mean, bitchy women’s’ wrath is on it’s way, just leave. Walking away is not giving up or giving in, it’s preventing an argument on your terms.
Do you have a mean, bitchy or negative person in your life?
Do you want to learn how to manage that and feel confident around her?
I will help you learn how to become more assertive and more effective in your communication, while making sure that you feel empowered and respected.
Please contact me today for a complimentary Confidence Coaching session!
Hi I have been “been enslaved” to being emotionally controlled by my then wife of about 15 years and now by my ex wife(I consented to the divorce) but still live in the house with her and our young adult son and daughter.my health is critical due to the tremendous stress I have endured over the years.i needed to see my daughter grow up into a well balanced adult and she is now in her 4th year of her undergraduate studies.there are very deeply hurtful events that has caused me tremendous grief and pain.i haveconsulted a clinical psychologist for about 15 years to help me cope with my situation.she has told me exactly what I needed to do-move out and live on my own.i could not trust this woman with the wellbeing of my son and daughter for very valid reasons.now though they are young adults
Hi Jason, that is definitely a challenging situation, but I am happy to hear that you are working with a psychologist and are moving out and living on your own. That will make you so much happier 🙂
Wishing you all the very best!
~Suzanne~
Then again, those type of women have very severe mental problems.
why not bitchy men ariticles too,
Because there are plenty of articles, memes, commercials, shows that have women complaining about men. And your question alone shows me that you have no indication of sexes and and our culture. Men have little-to-no support groups because of people like you. We are told to “man up” whilst women in America have all the resources and help and people actually listen to their problems. They’re a lot of great men out there and there are a lot of bad ones. But, there are also a lot good women and a lot of bad women. So, if you need an article to go to about bitchy men. Just look all around you, there is plenty of source material that dog men. I hope this provides some insight – Sincerely, an egalitarian…
I have found all women are extremely bitchy. I’ve been in many single groups and all of which are full of bitchy women. They feel left out, they feel everyone’s out to get them. They feel abandonment. Honestly, get a dog. They are loyal, they want to be your friend under any circumstance. I personally think it’s Television, peoples magazine and other literature women read in United States, make them want everything, Money big homes, not have to satisfy their man. total bitches. Perfect example: get a jar, when you first meet a nice lady put a penny in the jar each time there is kissing and sex. After 8 months, take a penny out each time the later occurs. You will never empty the jar. This is a bitch in the making.
My ex’s girlfriend/wife bashed, told lies, made me sound like an awful mom. You name it she did it. She wanted my life. My husband and my daughter. She got the husband and spent lots of money trying to get my daughter. Finally, she realized she was not going to win. I’ve just recently seen all of the awful things she posted on FB about me. A lot of the things she accused me of, she was the one doing it. True narcissist!
Yes I agree that we need more insight into men.
How to deal with his rude behavior and then the next breath he thinks you should make out with him and do everything he want it’s very difficult to be in a relationship like that because you almost feel abused.
My “best friend” is a user. She takes more from me than she gives to me. I began to cut it about a year ago and find a new best friend. She was part of the group but not quite as close as some of my other friends. I eventually left the group because of her. She turned my friends on me. Don’t let people like like her ruin your life and make you feel bad.
im in a relationship with a woman that is a total bitch.She says she loves me and when i bring up anything about things to make the relationship better she gets angry and shuts me down.Were in a long distance relationship and she always say shes lost all hope that i will come there.She says im a mistake and wishes she never met me.But like i said she says she loves me.She always brings up my past and my ex girlfriends and ridicules me about it..Theres so much more to say but i will stop here.Thanks for reading.Any advice is appreciated.
Thanks so much for addressing this issue of men being emotionally beat up by toxic females. We hear so much of the opposite and this is a topic that definitely needs more attention.
To Mike Edwards,
GET.RID.OF.HER. FAST
My father died when I was 15, leaving me to be raised by a domineering, manipulative mother and older sister. Now I’m married to a domineering, manipulative woman going on 20 years and her domineering, manipulative children. I am at best a second-class citizen in this house and, with the old tapes in my head I don’t have the guts to free myself. Do not fall into this trap. DO NOT PUT UP WITH BITCHY WOMEN.
What do I do?! Please help! I feel helpless because I can’t smack a woman. She deserves it too! She is violent sometimes as well. Verbally abusive like you won’t believe!! I think I was suckered, folks! This woman was sweet when we started dating, then I saw the demon! I then broke up with her. But she cried and apologized and there are many qualities she has that i throught were worth it . She later proposed to me too. But then it happened again! So I broke up with her after she was screaming and jm our hotel room, security at the door, neighbors trying to sleep, she had NO regard for them!!! She even poured water on my iPhone, threw everything off the table screaming, she then threw her iPhone at my head with such force, it split my f munger open. Not a bad injury, but injury with a permanent scar nonetheless! I dumped her that morning g, but she begged for forgiveness, and I gave it to her because, are you ready: “she is PREGNANT with my son!” She is the WORST woman I have ever met. I almost pity her. She has ko friends /!: I now know why. She is alone. I am the fool that got caught in her web, but I am happy for my first Son?!!! What do I do????? She is always demeaning, she is rude, she throws insults, she says ‘be a man’ and I’m like, ‘honey, I am 4 time Brazilian Jujitsu WORLD champion, I make low six figures. I pay my bills, I give to charity, I treat all people with kindness and reapect and even bought us a house right when I found out she was pregnant?! She threatens to get me fired, she now hates the house by the way and is now asking for an Allowance because she can’t work because she is pregnant. Whilst I know many pregnant woman who do something?! She was fired for her attitude too, she is Lazy because ‘daddy is rich!’ . By the way, the company hired me and kept me after firing her, and now that’s my fault too? She came me a user?? I provide everything and am the only with a damn job?! I am fine with supporting a stay at home mother, believe me, but she is SOOO UNGRATEFUL! What have I done. Folks, I NEVER knew woman like this even existed. Wow. Now I have a son, and she is threatening to take him using her Millionaire parents and attorney father! Help. Help. Help. Someone!!!???!!!
Women are resource vampires, due to evolutionary biology. They expect, take, and play victim. More fool the man who tries to ‘please’ a woman who is never satisfied, is negative, and can’t cope with the weight of her own beinge. Start loving yourself, and keep away from negative energy. If you drop dead, you’d be replaced by another sucker man next day. It’s not about you as a person, it’s about the ‘job/role’ that you fulfill. How you serve her. No different to how a mercenary employer works ! Time to get your head out your ass ! 🙂
Thank you, Rich. I would, but she has my child. Can anyone give me additional advice? Please! But Wow. lol I was the most careful before breaking my mold. Never do that folks. I did it once and now have the worst woman alive. If I die in my sleep. Look at Her! Wish I could leave my name here. Guess we’ll see. I’ll live with the consequences, or die by them.
Anyone else have a comment to my post above? Only Rich? Common folks! ??
What if the bitch is your wife?
This is great advice in the bigger scheme of life. I am dealing with one of these people but in a work environment so it’s not as easy to just walk away unless I quit my job. How do you deal with work colleagues that are super negative people?
I am not one who believes in running from any problems. My wife is at times impossible to please. She is rude one moment and sweet the next. Demanding
rude and completely unforgiving, unless she feels vulnerable .
So how do I cope ….. simple. When she is being bitchy, I hang out with my friends She hates this, If she wants me to complete a project around the house after she has been verbally abusive , I will not complete the project until I get an apology. When she threatens to divorce me as a manipulative tactic I tell her to do it, she would be much better off
One day in front of mutual friends that I invited over my house for a barbecue, she called me a slob. I walked out of my house without saying a word and took a hotel room for the night, returned to my house the next and did not speak to her for an entire week, she gets out of line and I set boundaries. I rub her face in her nasty behavior and I do not relent until I get an apology Trust me she is learning the hard way. and she knows that I am capable of walking out that door and never returning
I am sick and tired of women pretending that they understand men. Men are fucked one way or another.
Most women nowadays as it is are very entitled stuck up narcissists feminists low life losers in the first place. You just can’t fix stupid. Even a shrink couldn’t help these women at all since they very much are beyond repair.
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Thank you for posting this, I also enjoyed reading the comments. I have run into too many mean, selfish, narcissistic women who became my enemy pretty quickly. I do not give into their egos or comply with their demands. When they realize I won’t be like them, I become an enemy. Many toxic American women are into their same-sies squads, they want every female around them to be like them. I personally take pride in being their adversary. It’s a prevalent mental illness in females in America, they are deceptive, sly, narcissistic abusers. My mother is a scheming narcissist monster, my obese ex MIL is also one, I can’t stand both of them, and my ex is a male with feminine traits of his obese mother. The world will be better when they are all gone.
I prefer to make them even more angry with my success.
I have never encountered kindness from women.I have a lot of unresolved trauma from frequent bullying,jealousy and catty behaviour.I wish women weren’t so cruel to each other.I keep them at arms length as a result.I didn’t know my sisters for 23 years and when I met them they were not happy to see me.We were separated at birth.They bullied me about my looks and tried to copy my hair/clothes.One of my sisters was deluded enough to think I wanted her boyfriend and I live over 23hrs away/went to visit twice a year!I spent so much money and time on a family who didn’t love or want me in their lives and treated me like absolute garbage.I cut off contact as a result.Outside of the family situation,I faced bullying by female coworkers and women I would try to become friends with.Whether it was gossiping behind my back,back-handed compliments or straight up insults,competing with me or getting mad at me because I “dressed up nice”
(I was in jeans,a work blouse and black boots)
I stay away from women
All I’ve encountered from women is evil behaviour 99.999% of the time.I have 1 female friend.That’s it.
Let me make this clear
1)I do not want anyone’s man.Period.Girl code is a real thing and I don’t need someone else’s leftovers.
2)I will dress however the hell I want to dress.You do not and will not dictate what I wear.
3)Don’t judge me when you don’t even know me.
4)If you don’t have anything nice or productive to say then don’t say anything.
3)
Women,stop trying to make other women feel small.
Even in the religious crowd, women are just as catty. I can’t even get a call back on requests to volunteer my time. They look at me as odd because I’m not married, a threat because I’m more educated, and a potential threat to their coveted positions. They don’t have the creativity to think outside the box, or to dream of expanding services and opportunities, it’s just me, me, mine, you’re not welcome. This isn’t even corporate with high dollar jobs. Unreal.
Most women nowadays as it is are very brain damaged altogether. MGTOW saves lives.
Hi!
If you are a bitch and want to make love with some random stranger on the internet, gimme a call or text! ????
Bret
458-257-0835
Hi
I need help I work with woman who my day living hell she criticize get trouble my boss I need help handle thank you
Back in the old days most women were very old fashioned and real ladies compared to whatever you want to call them today.
Back in the old days most women were very old fashioned and real ladies compared to the very entitled low life loser women that you have everywhere nowadays.
Hello
The bitchy women don’t invite me to anything but I never say anything so they are even more horrible to me. They are venomous and self-serving. I am quiet, ignored and ridiculed. I am always nice and polite to them but they hate me. This is typical group of women mentality.
Most women back in the old days were very old fashioned and real ladies compared to the very horrible entitled women today.
Men and women can live financially separate lives, and are choosing to GTOW.
Women are no longer financially required to pretend to like unlikeable men. ?
There are lot of bad women out there. And the number is only increasing unfortunately.
The current culture and governmental policies makes them behave like that. They no longer care about treating men right, but why would they anyways? Everyday women become more independent, that means everyday women need men less. It’s just natural to care less when someone is not needed.
Men need to wake up and start shifting to a better mentality. To one where the power is restored, not given away to bad women.
Things need to change. Men need to wake up. And specially here in the western world.
Make him fall back in love with you..
I was able to win him back after breakup,,
He now loves me so much…
Make him fall back in love with you.
I was able to win him back after breakup,,
He now loves me so much…
Make your Ex fall back in love with you…
Its true. Most women are liars. Hollow, self centred and abusive. I wish it weren’t so but it is, and its only getting worse. The longer society allows them to lie, cheat, steal, weaponsise children, abuse ex partners, be narcissistic little cunts, the longer they will do it for.
I used to respect women. Until they showed what utter scum they all were.
So let me get this straight…. You purposely exclude someone (which is a bitch thing) instead of extending the invitation. That person feels bad and gets upset (feelings usually resulting from shitty people). They say something about it and they’re the bitch?? I mean the right thing is to extend the invitation and it becomes her option of whether or not she decides to go. You shouldn’t assume how someone might or might not feel in a specific situation, that’s their decision. No offense but in that example you’re still the bitch. If you hurt someone and they react to it, you should be called out for it . It’s completing different than if you’re nice and cheery to them all the time and they are just a bitch no matter what. A real toxic person isn’t someone who is upset for a specific reason at a specific person. It’s someone who is just deliberately mean and negative to nice people no matter what.
Whoever said women were normal in the first place? NOT.
Very brain damaged women are beyond repair.
Women have gotten so much worse over the years. Many are completely undateable, and the pendulum is getting ready to swing the other way. Men need to start a movement based on making these women single and alone so they can’t mooch off the success of the partners that they take for granted.
The average American woman has gotten much fatter and bitchier. Yet, they feel like they can make demands because of the dating market being shit right now? Someone needs to put these fucking cows in their place.
Fuck these stupid ass bitches!
@ER; Run away
Men: DO NOT put up with a bitchy woman. If you play “the nice guy” and let her shit all over you then she will NEVER respect you. If she is being a bitch, call her out on it. If she’s worth the skin she lives in, she will take the point and at least try to moderate her bitchiness. If she’s not (most aren’t) she will simply step up her bitchiness to a new level in an effort to gain the upper hand and reestablish control. That’s when you leave. Better to be alone than to be some nasty bitch’s punching bag.
I read allot of the comments
Allot of women are not nice
They go out with, date the wrong men
They have this fantasy living mentally,
certain type guy, certain type house, a certain type of lifestyle Hence when it doesn’t turn out that way they turn bitch,
They won’t accept a good kind gentleman,
who loves them. They date trouble.
Reading all these comments was scary to say the least. So many people are in bad relationships with no way out and nothing to look forward to. All I can say is life is very short and to put up with ANYONE that doesn’t treat you with respect and kindness is not worth it at all. Guys (and girls) cut the cord. I don’t care if you have to split the money or the kids, it’s simply not worth it. You will find someone else but the longer you prolong your misery and suffering you are wasting precious time you could have been already healing yourself emotionally and possibly found a better mate. There is no magic cure to an awful and messed up beyond repair relationship. If one person is putting in the work and the other is not, it’s over. You also need to know when enough is enough, you tried everything to make it work but it’s still crap cut it out. Wishing everyone good luck and hope you all find peace and happiness in the end. Just remember, no on is responsible for your happiness except you.
My wife for 30yrs, does not allow me to sleep in the room, does not speak to me and spends her whole day on facebook, not one picture of me, she constantly threatens divorce, but here’s the problem I still love her and don’t want to live alone even though I am alone, she blames me for everything and when we argue she runs out of the house and screams to the top of her lungs that I’m abusing her, she threatens yo call the police and has many times, when we do speak she belittles me,
I always try to say sorry,, she never accepts, the apology. I feel like alittle bitch and know I need to leave her, but after 30yrs im struggling with that. It’d would be hard for me to imagine her being with another man, when I look in the mirror all i all see is an insecure little bitch. She always tells me that, Everyonce in a while she treats me nice, but that only last a day or two, here’s the bottom line, I’m so broken inside and she seems to love it , as long as she has her facebook she’s good, I’m sorry to all the men out there for not taking a stand against this demonic women, I know I sound pathetic,