"You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, "I'm proud of what I am and who I am, and I'm just going to be myself."
Self-acceptance is embracing yourself as you are right now, regardless of your past. It is the 5th Component of Confidence
Self-awareness plays a big role in self-acceptance. As you develop the ability to gain knowledge about yourself you will become more and more able to accept and improve those areas where you lack confidence.
Self-acceptance takes some work. You have to be able to get to a place where you know and understand who you are, and that means that you will likely have to make some changes. Self-acceptance also means that you may have to face some fears and step outside of your comfort zone. It’s about being able to separate who you are from what you’ve done. It’s about understanding that everyone makes mistakes, and that's how we learn and grow.
Accepting yourself doesn’t necessarily mean liking every aspect of yourself. That will come later, with self-love. It means being willing and able to experience everything you think, feel, or do, even if you don't always like it. If you don’t accept yourself, you will feel ashamed or embarrassed about who you are.
As women, we have a lot of pressure to be "perfect." It doesn't exist!!! Nobody is perfect and EVERYONE has insecurities. We all don't like certain parts of our bodies, we all wish we could change something about ourselves, but someone who is truly and authentically confident doesn't dwell on those things. For example, I love my legs, but I HATE the spider veins in my legs (Thanks, Mom! 😉 You don't have to be perfect, or anywhere close to perfect to have absolute confidence and to be happy.
If you are comparing yourself to other women...STOP IT! It will be a constant choke hold on your confidence. There will always be someone somewhere who is prettier, smarter and more successful. That does NOT mean they are any better than you. There are things that you excel at that other people wish they could do. It's SO TRUE. Trust me!
A very important part of acceptance is to understand that you don't necessarily have to like things you accept. Acceptance is not the same as approval. If you accept it, don’t think that you are approving of it. A great example of this is the fact that peer pressure is very prevalent in our society. I accept that, but it doesn’t mean that I approve of it. So there can be things about yourself that you disapprove of, but can still accept, in order to achieve absolute confidence.
A lack of self-acceptance happens for a couple of reasons:
- Not being accepted or loved unconditionally as a child. People who have had to experience that pain, will go through life being internally motivated to compensate for that lack of acceptance by seeking it in their relationships with other people.
- If the most important people in your life do not accept you as you are, or they are trying to change you this will greatly impact your level of self-acceptance.
The following tips will help increase your self-acceptance:
- Remind yourself of your unique talents and abilities.
- Be aware of your image and the way you appear to people.
- Accept compliments from others and trust that they are true.
- Take complete responsibility for your life.
- Think about your future possibilities and realize that your potential is unlimited.
- Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.
- Give yourself permission to fail....failure is a great way to learn and get closer to success!
If you are willing to experience and embrace whatever you think, feel or do, even if you don't always like it, you will begin to accept yourself and begin to change and grow into the person you want to be.
By Suzanne Fetting
If you would like to learn how to accept yourself and develop ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE, contact me today!