The one and only person that you will spend your whole life with is YOU! So, I encourage you to appreciate and love yourself.
Do you remember the hit song in the ’80’s, “Greatest Love of All” written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed which was sung by Whitney Houston?
I LOVE the lyrics…
“I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all”
Self-love is an interesting topic.
The most powerful words you can ever say are: “I love myself”
But unfortunately self-love hasn’t really been encouraged over the course of history. Our society has labeled people who love themselves openly as egotistical, vain and selfish. It’s no wonder why we fear the thought of loving ourselves openly. However, the degree to which you can honestly and authentically love yourself will determine the degree to which you are able to love others. I believe that our society is slowly beginning to change now, and women are beginning to understand the importance of self-love and self-confidence. I know that my Omi’s generation was very different. The women back then were not at all encouraged to love and express themselves. As a result growing up, my Mom was taught what she learned from her Mom. But fortunately, my Mom broke the cycle and encouraged me to be myself and love the person I am.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if children nowadays were encouraged to build their confidence and self-love?
Self-love is not about being conceited, vain or selfish. All of those words have a very different definition and action than that of self-love.
Self-love is:
- understanding and recognizing that you are a worthy and valuable person
- knowing yourself and accepting yourself as you are right now, regardless of your past
- realizing that you are unique
There is only one of you in the entire universe! Why not embrace your uniqueness? Each of us is completely different from one another. It’s important to note that everyone feels they have certain things about themselves that they see as flaws or as weaknesses. No one is perfect! Once you are able to recognize your strengths and your self-worth you are then able to start to love yourself. If you are also able to recognize that the path you’ve chosen is different from anyone else’s, it is easier to detach yourself form the views of other people and follow your own path without feeling the need to compare yourself to others.
Instead of comparing, how about setting an example. Be a perfect example for others on how to treat you and love you. How can you expect other people to know how to treat you if you aren’t even treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated? When we are able to honestly and authentically love ourselves, we are then able to attract and receive healthy and authentic love into our lives, therefore being able to give that same kind of love to others. The relationships you have with other people is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.
Have a loving relationship with yourself, you are going to spend the rest of your life with yourself, so be sure to appreciate and celebrate YOU. When you have self-love you will become happier and project that happiness and love to the people around you.
I’m not suggesting that we stop caring for and loving others, by nature women are caregivers, and I believe that love for others is extremely important. But what I am suggesting is that you take the time to appreciate the most important person in your life, who probably gets the least amount of your attention…YOU!
Tips to giving yourself love:
1. Say “I love you” more often. To yourself that is!
2. Write down 10 things you really like about yourself. Take the time to explore and write down 10 things that you like about yourself. It can be anything, big or small.
3. Say “No” when you want to. Say it in a confident manner. Be firm, polite, respectful and do not be overly apologetic. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.
4. Do something nice for yourself. Is there a beautiful dress you’ve had your eye on for a while and kept telling yourself you don’t need it. Or a cute pair of shoes, or earrings? A little trinket of some sort that makes you smile when you see it? Why not do something nice for yourself. Spoil yourself this weekend and go get it! You deserve it!
5. Do something that relaxes you. Go for a walk in nature, take a yoga class, read, go for coffee, get a massage.
6. Buy yourself flowers or chocolates. Don’t wait around for someone else to do it for you!
7. Go to the spa or hair salon. Make yourself feel beautiful and sexy, for you!
8. Relax with a glass of wine while soaking in a candle lit scented bubble bath.
By Suzanne Fetting
If you want to learn how to fall in love with yourself contact me today!