5 Most Common EXCUSES That Are Self-Sabotage

Making Excuses: Why & How It Affects Your Confidence
March 5, 2017
Happy International Women’s Day!
March 8, 2017

 

1) “I don’t have the time.”

That is a limiting belief. Allow me to keep it real here –99% of the time, those are the words of a people-pleaser with a lack of self-worth.

Unfortunately, a lot of women struggle with this because of social conditioning. As young girls we were taught (or witnessed the women in our families) to take care of everyone else’s needs before our own. Nowadays, we are also expected to have a career, have a social life and look like a super model while we do it all! Geez!  🙄

But it is SO incredibly important for you to MAKE the time to do whatever it is that is that makes you happy and recharges you.

Making that time is really just about these 2 things:

  1. Determining how important ____ really, really is to you.
  2. Learning how to manage your time.

My Mom had 3 kids, 1 after another for 3 years!  😯 She raised all 3 of us without a nanny. In addition, she owned 2 successful businesses –a dog obedience school for 28 years and a register kennel that bred Yellow Labs for 10 years. She also ran the household while my Dad was at work for 12 hours a day, had no employees, and likely had no sleep! AND she still managed to find the energy and the time to go out as a family and have fun on the weekends. I don’t ever once remember my Mom using this excuse.

2) “I can figure it out on my own.”

Maybe you are one of the 5% that are able to become happy and confident by yourself. You are highly motivated and ambitious and are already on your way to living your ideal life.

Maybe you are someone who has spent most of their adult life pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, facing your fears, trying new things, experience what the word has to offer, adamantly pursuing challenges, and investing in understanding and learning about who you really are –your authentic self.

Unfortunately, that is not the life that most women have and are encouraged to have.

It’s heartbreaking to me when I have students in my Absolute Confidence Workshops and I KNOW with my Coaching we can totally change their lives for the better. But they choose not to take advantage of the sweeeeet deal on my 1 on 1 Confidence Coaching that I offer to my students. Instead, they’ll make excuses not to invest themselves, and then a year (sometimes more than 5 years!) goes by and I get an email saying, I “shoulda” started working with you when I first contacted you because my life is still exactly the same and I’m still unhappy and struggling with insecurities.

Personally, I wish I would’ve learned what I know now 15 years ago. It would’ve saved me TON frustration and stress. As a Confidence Coaching client of mine, I can show you the fast track to transforming yourself for the rest of your life in just A MATTER OF MONTHS!  YAY!  😀

3) “I don’t think it’ll work for me.” 

My Coaching ABSOLUTELY does work. Every single client that has been dedicated to creating their transformation, does their worksheets and exercises and “does the work”, gets the results! Don’t just take my word for it…check out what some of my clients and students have said about the work I do on my Success Stories page.

What I do is teach from experience, NOT from books. I live my life continuously pushing myself out of my comfort zone, constantly taking action and facing my fears.

I offer solutions that WILL work and I can help you solve your problems because I have personally been through them and know what it takes to overcome them.

What does NOT work is just reading about it. Many of my clients tell me that they’ve been reading books for years, or been going to a counsellor for years and it didn’t help them get the transformation they wanted.

As a former client of mine, Jenny wrote about in her testimonial, READ IT HERE

The work I do is very different.

I provide you with real world exercises, tools, techniques and proven ways to CHANGE the way you’re currently thinking, speaking and behaving.

Self-confidence is developed through becoming very self aware and in focusing your attention on the details of your thought processes, language patterns, negative habits, belief systems and your behaviors.

Confidence isn’t learned from reading books. When you read a book you are focusing your attention on the conceptual ideas in the book. With your attention in a book you are not paying attention to your OWN thoughts, behavior and emotions.

It is much more difficult to apply what you learn from books without someone there to be accountable to, who knows what you are going through and can show you the short cuts and guide you in the right direction to getting you where you want to be and how you want to feel.

4) “It’s too late in life for me to change.”

Noooooo! It’s never too late! I have heard this excuses many times from potential clients 🙁 Guess what? My oldest client was 69 years old. How awesome is that?!! She said the same thing to me. But after attending my workshop I was able to convince her to invest in herself. In a matter of months her whole life was completely different. She fell in love with herself! She learned how to create her own happiness and manage her negative thoughts, and stopped being “the grumpy old lady” (as she called herself) and that’s only to name just a few of the dozens of absolutely amazing things that took place in her life.

5) “I can’t afford it.”

To be fair, sometimes this is true.

But what about MOST of those times when “can’t afford it” is just another way of saying “I don’t think deserve that thing I really, really want.”? You need to ask yourself: “Can I afford NOT to?”

What are all the potentially AWESOME things that you are missing out on when you use this excuse?

I learned this on my own because I caught myself doing it! Several years ago I really wanted to invest in going to an expensive personal development conference with a high profile list of speakers. I had all kinds of excuses why I couldn’t afford to go.

Then a few days later my beloved fur baby (my super sweet cat “Chance”) got really sick. What did I do? I quickly came up with the hundreds of dollars to get her to the vet and taken care of immediately. chance (Small)

That’s what we women do –as the nurturers and care-givers.

We take care of the ones we love so much.

 

A great example of this was what I heard at a women’s business conference from a fantastic speaker who said: “What would happen if someone stole your child (or in my case, my fur baby) and told you that in order to get her back you needed to come up with $1,500 ransom money to get her back? Chances are you would come up with the money immediately! Use your savings, sell some of your things, call your family and closest friends and ask for help, etc.”

It’s SO true, right? But for most women when it comes to spending money on themselves (other than clothes, hair and make-up) they come up with a bunch of excuses why they don’t deserve it. It typically boils down to a lack of self-worth.

If you want to go on vacation? What do you do? Save up for it. If you want a beautiful new outfit? Work it into your budget. Affording what we want has to do with believing that we are worthy of it and doing whatever it takes to make it happen for ourselves because it will make us happy.

My Confidence Coaching doesn’t “cost” –it pays!
It’s an investment that begins to pay off in the first 2 sessions and will continue paying off throughout your entire life. Everything you learn working with me, you can continue to apply in the future.

Upon completing any of my coaching programs with all of my clients, I have NEVER had someone say that they paid too much. On the contrary, they have said the cost was so insignificant compared to the massive positive transformations that took place.

Trust me, you can’t afford NOT to have absolute confidence!

So, whataya think? Is now YOUR time? Time goes by so fast, don’t waste another minute and don;t let your Inner Critic talk you out of what you really, really want to do! No excuses. You deserve it!

 

Give me a shout and let’s sky rocket your happiness and confidence!

 

 

 

Going after what we really want in life can be scary as hell. Our minds can quickly come up with a million excuses for why pursuing our dreams is not only far-fetched, but also not a good idea.
If I were to take a guess, I imagine you have several excuses up your sleeve right now. They’re probably really good at trying to convince you of all the reasons you supposedly can’t create what you want in life. They may even go as far as to tell you, “They’re just dreams, they’ll never be a reality.”

 

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